Love Letter to ‘Tiger’

Dear sweet ‘Tijgertje’,

I have never wrote a letter like this before, but you deserve some special words. This is my Love Letter to you.

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A big decision

The last months I had to make a lot of decisions. The hardest one had to do with you. A part of me still thinks: “Is this really going to happen?” Yes, it is. Today I am letting you go. You will move to Brabant, the South of the Netherlands. To live with ‘another Sister’. Not for 9 months but permanently. While I go on a Journey to (South) America. As one of my neighbours said to me yesterday: “She will be giving her Love to someone else now.” While I was crying talking to her, at the same time I could see the beauty in this (reminder): you giving your Love to someone else. And that thought makes me feel happy.

To have come to this decision, has been a Journey on its own. Last June I already felt this wanted and needed to happen. But because you are so dear to me, I needed time. To think and feel about it. It hasn’t been easy. And I have questioned myself for quite some time, what to do. But now I feel, and know, it’s time to let you go. I feel like a Mother who sets her child free in the World…

As I write these words, tears fill my eyes.

I feel it would be selfish of me to claim you back after 9 months, when you are settled in another place and loved by another person (and vice versa). And I don’t know yet in which direction my life will evolve. At this moment, I can’t promiss you anything. I feel it serves your happiness more, to make this choice. To be that honest to you, even when I feel sadness because of it.

Several times I have talked to you about it, this change to come. When you looked at me with your beautiful big eyes, I usually couldn’t keep my eyes dry. My heart bursted open, feeling sadness. But also; feeling so much love and gratitude.

Looking back

We were together for almost 5 years. You entered my life when I was living in Belgium. You were just a little baby cat, about 8 weeks old. In the very beginning you were very shy, sitting under the sofa. Pretty quick you crawled unto our laps, snorring and enjoying our strokes and discovering your new surroundings. I have seen you become a mother at a young age, giving birth to and taking care after 6 (!) kittens. I was so proud of you! Nurturing your 3 suns and 3 daughters…until you were so weak you could not give anymore milk. I put a lot of energy into finding a new home for your kittens, so you would have rest.

Twice in the past, I felt we needed to stay together. When I was already back in the Netherlands, and you were still in Belgium. When I went to pick you up after 4 months being apart, you immediately recognized my voice (and the rest of me). And when you were missing for a week 2 years ago, lost in the forest near my house. I went searching for you and again, you recognized my voice and found your way back to me.

Now…the time has come to go seperate ways.

Mirror mirror in the house… what I learned from you

To me, you were and are a ‘LOVE-BOMB.’ Such a pure beautiful Soul. Sharing your love with me, just by BEING. I discovered you were just as sensitive as me and reflecting my moods. When I was feeling restless, you were running in the house, from one place to the other. When I was at ease, you were lying on the sofa really peacefully. When I felt depressed you were there for me, all the time (don’t think you got depressed but it did seem to effect you a bit).

You are awesome, in the way you can totally surrender. Laying yourself down on your back to be stroked on your belly, your head, your whole body. Resting, sleeping, relaxing…you are a natural at that! 🙂 Reminding me, when I was to busy or to busy in my head; to slow down.
A couple of times I had Sisters looking after you, while I was away. One of them, this summer, said she never met a cat, who was so clear in her behaviour and communication as you. That made me, somehow, feel proud. That you were able to express your longings and boundaries so clear to people. Being that transparent (mirror…?!).

You are such a sweet cat, with a beautiful soft nature. I reallly believe you helped me to embrace my softness, mirrorring that part of me as well.


I see and feel you noticed that a change is coming. It’s gonna be ok sweetheart (for all of us).

Today I let you go

Today I let you go
Physically
The connection can remain
Through time and space

I know my Sister welcomes you
With open arms and a warm Heart
We all have to get used to the new situation
But we will
I trust and know this
You will be safe there, in your new house
And you will be loved

You are you
Never were ‘mine’
We just got the chance
To spend some time together

Thank you
For being you!

I love you
You will have a special place in my Heart
Always.

‘Yours’,
Femke

 

'Tijgertje'one day before our separation

‘Tijgertje’one day before our separation

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